Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Lahirnya Aina Adreanna....

i want to share my true experience about how i feel towards my baby. about being a mom. and about how my life has change since the birth of my daughter.

when the doctor told me that i was pregnant, i was shocked. i was not ready to be a mom.but i feel happy for my husband bcoz he very excited.i just worried can’t give the best for my baby. in fact i am still not ready to be a mom. i had morning sickness (it was more like evening sickness actually) and my body was going through a lot of pain during the pregnancy and delivery. i was feeling exhausted and sick and tired of going to work with this belly of mine growing heavier as days went by. i couldn't wear almost all my clothes and i missed my tees and jeans so much. oh goodness, the stretch marks made me feel ugly and unattractive. the whole experience made me feel really, really ugly. i was fat.my weight becomes 68 kg from 48 kg..my god! like balloon with full of water..n now my weight was 50kg..i can’t get by weight back..

and then the next excruciating experience was the delivery. so what i heard about delivery is true - it was bloody painful and makes you realize that you owe so much to the person whom you call Ma. the pain was ruling my body and mind. oh, the contractions were just the beginning. the most painful part was when the baby was coming out through the birth canal and when the doc cut me down there and stitched them up later.n then cut out the placenta was the worst paint.my placenta membrane was ragged n my god!! i remember 4 @ 5 people (doctor n nurse) put their hand and try 2 take a piece of membrane there.. i can’t describe how horrible I felt that time.after that i told myself that don’t want to delivary @ normal process again n just operation n i just feel the pain after delivary..crazy isn’t.next painful process was the recovery period. for almost three weeks the pain from the stitches was still there. confinement period was not a great moment either.went i pregnant, i think that was great holiday bcoz can have a great time with my mum n family..made me cranky and wished i could transfer all these pain and responsibilities
to someone else.
my daughter was born on 08 june 2008 with weigth 3.8kg. she came into this world at 07.20 am .i was expecting a baby gurl since i was pregnant bcoz i just find a girl's name during pregnancy but my husband want a baby boy. my husband thought the name Adreanna was gorgeous n he also want to put my name.. so, our daughter's name is Aina Adreanna Bt Abd Razak. we call her Dina coz it mean 'keagamaan'. praise the Lord for blessing me with this perfect angel. Dina was healthy and cute and adorable. i have to admit that she is like an angel because taking care of her is easy, unlike some babies who are fussy and have complications during and after delivery.

nobody said it was easy. For the 2 month,my sleeps are interrupted. i am always "on-call". less time for yourself -.n i became very ugly bcoz don’t have time.my life has change completly. I feel very sad bcoz I not like before anymore.not slim like before.i had a stretch mark.loss my hair.n ect.but as days went by i learned to accept the fact that whatever i am but i have a cute little gurl.i’m glad to get Aina Adreanna in my life.. i began to fall in love with Dina gradually and the love keeps on growing deeper and deeper. well, sometimes the pressure was too hard to handle and makes me go nuts. but hey, that's totally normal for every mom to experience it - i told myself. the pregnancy, the delivery and the fact that i have become a mom made me love my parents even more and appreciate the sacrifices they have made to raise me and my brother. Dina is my wake-up call. she opens my eyes and shows me reality. she is my little angel. my sweet cupcake. i would kill that person if he/she ever tries to take Dina from me!

i started to fall in love with my baby when i saw her smiles and heard her cries. her smiles melts my heart while her cries wrecks my heart. her pain is my pain. another thing that makes my baby Dina precious is the fact that not everybody can be a parent. Allah is Great. i am among those who are selected to be able to conceive an offspring and become a parent. i am so glad i could get pregnant and gave birth to my own flesh and blood. unlike some unfortunate couples, they would do anything to have baby. they have to try so hard for so many years to have a baby. and there are some who are destined to be childless for the whole life. those experience which i described as being horrible and painful and excruciating has changed into an experience i would never forget. it has become an experience that i treasure and appreciate.

so here we are now. the three of us - Mummy, Daddy and Dina. my family. my love. my life. my
treasures.

3 comments:

zue_zf said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Cik Shenyum ツ said...

wahh..beshnye...da ade baby...!
xsgka kawan zmn skola2 dlu da jadi mak org..sob3x..terharu... ;)

luvhaziq said...

how touch arr ur story.make me feel blank skjap...anyway keep on happy family

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